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Date: June 2, 2004
Location: USA


   Arriving back at LAX from NZ, I hitched a ride back down to San Diego with Mark and Ryan, jumped in my car, and headed East... Made a short stop by my best friend's house - Eric was recently returned from Iraq, and I grabbed a quick bite of lunch, bought some books on tape, then said 'au revoir' to him and his girlfriend, Kristina, and set off across the desert. If you have never driven through Arizona at night, the skies are something else - crystal clear and full of stars, some of them falling. I made a wish or two as I listened to "The Wedding" by Nicholas Sparks, which kept me awake until about 1 am when I pulled into my little brother's driveway in Las Cruces, NM...

...spent a couple of days bumming around Las Cruces, picked up my sister's friend Karen in El Paso, and headed East again, managing, by dint of 3 solid days of driving to make it to our Nation's Capitol, just in time to spend Saturday night and Sunday with my baby sister Laura before checking into the hotel where I was to spend the next couple of weeks. When the phone rang at 0430 in the morning, I was a little surprised, since my wake-up call wasn't supposed to come until 0630... It was the Marines, calling to say that plans had changed, no one had told me, but we were supposed to leave in half an hour for Winchester, Virginia, and could I make it to the lobby by then?

Well, after the world's quickest shower and worst packing job, I was down stairs and on the road, dropping my car and most of my luggage off at Marine Corps Base Quantico and piling in a van with 4 strange dudes to drive 40 miles west to Winchester. All of us clicked pretty much right away, and presently we were checking in to the TraveLodge in Winchester, and spending an afternoon learning how to detect when terrorists are spying on you, following your car, etc... Ate some good catfish and barbeque ribs for dinner, and got to bed at a relatively early hour.

Next day, the fun started. At the Bill Scott Raceway, a racetrack set back in the West Virginia woods, we spent two days learning how to drive at high speeds, brake hard, take turns as fast as possible, pull 180 degree turns going forward and backwards, ram barricades, and steal cars. Pretty amazing stuff, really. Then it was back to Quantico for about a week of really boring classes, most of which, combined with the recent terrorist attacks on the news, did little to make us feel good about where we're going...

...had a class on IED's, improvised explosive devices, ie, car bombs, etc... Diabolically ingenious, some of these things are! Also did a class on setting up safe shooting ranges, and the most useful was a class on Arabian history, customs, a bit of language... Much of it was old news to me, but I did learn some really interesting bits of trivia, such as - Muslims believe that Jesus, not Mohammed, will return to Earth during the End of Days to judge the righteous from the sinners and take them to heaven... Interesting... I bought a copy of the Bible, and have been looking for a local version of the Koran (Quran) to get geared up for the inevitable religious discussions I'll have with my Saudi counterparts...

Meanwhile, in the evenings and the intervening weekend, I managed to spend as much time as possible with my East Coast family and friends, having a pretty good couple of weeks.

And of course, took a little time to outfit myself with some gadgets that I didn't have before, such as safety glasses with dark and clear lenses (you always want eye protection, even at night, because if bullets hit your windshield the glass dust will blind you!) and lightweight body armor to wear under my clothing... A handy precaution, since we're in a war zone armed with only our wits. That's right, no weapons for us, at least not officially. I supposed I'll just have to stun any attackers with my verbal judo... Hah! They're working on getting us weapons now, but you know how beauracratic red tape can be, I fully expect to be issue my weapon the day before I leave next year... No, I'm not jaded...

But I am sporting a spiffy new moustache, since the Prophet Mohammed said that men should grow facial hair as a sign that they have shouldered the full burden of their societal duties... When in Rome, and all that... Of course, if the 'stache gets in the way of my social life, it's going to have to go... What are your thoughts on facial hair? Like a clean shave? A little stubble? Something more? Or just variety?

--ed.